Day 6. Nobodies breaking down this door for me.

‘A penny for your thoughts’, she said,
That’s all they’re worth these days,
Nobodies gonna pay me more,
So I, I trade them all for,
Cigarettes and messages etched,
On receipts and,
Ticket-stubs and post-it notes like,
I’m waiting for life…

I open up the window just to,
Let in the breeze,
The sunlight pouring through the shades is,
Forcing me down to my knees,
I pray to something that I don’t believe,
Or even want to see…

Nobody would break down this door for me,
So I trip the lock, and I walk out,
Into the street,
Nobody would tell me that they’ll return in time,
This home is only mine, it’s only mine.

So repeat these three words after me,
‘Time to go’, or ‘time to leave’,
Either one would work, believe,
Either one would work for me…

Day 5.

Internet connection was too poor to get a post up yesterday. I'd apologise, but I'm too modest to think anyones reading these. This is about an old friend.

Day 5: Fucktitle

I saw red balloons in the sun,
Like flowers, growing from the ground,
They gently swayed, in the breeze, around my arms,
And in that perfect frozen second,
I felt like nothing could go wrong,
I jumped and woke,
When the alarm, went off.

And I walked my way from Heaton to town,
I passed a pigeon in the street,
It felt like it somehow understood me,
It said ‘I have got to go, I’m late and,
This place is getting really cold,
Are you gonna fly, or just let yourself freeze?’

And I know that when you’re sitting on your own, you,
Probably cry,
You curse your eyes,
For all the tears, they’ve shed.
But when the world gets just too heavy,
I am just learning to float,
I'm like a boat, but my feet touch, the ground.

I saw spiritual healers, selling, miracles for cheap,
They sat me down and laid there hands, on me,
And as they cleansed me of my sins, I felt no great divine release,
I just felt the past,
Creeping up on me,

But if you decide that this towns too small,
To keep on avoiding me,
If you change your mind,
And think we can talk again...
Then I assure you,
we can be speak and,
you have got a friend in me,
theres no hard feelings,
I am okay...

Day 4: 'What are we supposed to do? Eat our feet?'

Is it your friends planning to leave,
That makes you feel a little older?
Is it the loneliness at night,
That makes you shake?
I’ve been trying to find a light,
To make the path a little clearer,
I want to try to find a way away, tonight…

Is it the dreams you face each night,
That make you wish that you were dying?
Is it those thoughts you use, to numb your heart cold?
Well I’ve got a plan, I wrote it down,
On the back of that old clothes tag,
It is a map; it leads you back, to me…

I’ve got a pounding in my chest, it feels like,
Another chamber loaded,
I wish I was the one, holding the gun…
And every time I fly, I go too high,
I just keep climbing toward the stars and,
I get like Icarus; I’m too close to the sun,
And now I’m falling down.


Is it the smiles from all those handsome boys,
That make you feel like you are dealing?
It’s like a coat that you once loved, that’s now replaced.
Is it the race for popularity,
That makes you ignore all the warnings?
I think you might just need,
To touch your feet, to ground…


I’ve got a hand, I’ve got a heart, I’ve got this song I wrote to send you,
It never made its way, across our two towns…
I’ve got a glass, filled with the cure, that I have used to try to forget,
It isn’t working, it isn’t working anymore…

I’ve got a train tearing through my brain,
The tracks are laid, the whistles blowing,
I need to pick up both my bags and hit the road,
But if you ever want to talk,
You know that I will still be listening,
I’m like a yo-yo,
I just get so far,
I‘m never gone…

I’m never gone…

Day 3: False start

The 'splitting my sides' visual has appeared in earlier posts...


I cut strings when I wake up,
To untie my tether,
I swim out and climb from the,
Cold, muddy water,
My hands are unbroken, my,
Feet my foundations,
My eyes are the cameras I blur.

And my jacket is torn from the,
Fall from the roadside,
Past signposts and tree-stumps my,
Bones break and split,
And I lie to myself,
Say that everything’s alright,
I know that it’s not, I,
Know that it will never be…

And all of the medicine I took spilled out from my seams
They were split, when I fell,
From all the laughing I did,
When you told me that I was the last boy you’d kiss…
I stood up,
I recoiled,
Brushed it off,
I clenched my fists…

If my sentences get lost,
I’m sure that I’ll find them,
I’ll take photographs like all the
Other found items,
I’ll store them away in that,
Suitcase I’ll file them,
I’ll lock it and hide it away.

And when you ask for details, I’ll,
Laugh it off or lie, I’ll,
Cover my trails like you,
Once covered my eyes,
Asked me who it was and I,
Laughed and I, replied,
“The only girl I’ll ever want or could ever need…”

Day 2: OCB

So far, I'm seeing reocurring references to falling unconscious and a few references to weather habits. Interesting(?).

OCB


Open the curtain, the sunlight should pour in, cleansing you…
Your photographs have all blurred out, they're,
Bleached from being left out,
Open in view…
Open your backdoor,
Step out into the world that you fear…
One foot for the other, it's,
A dream that just keeps you, waking, and shaking with fear, and,

I'm breathing out of habit, now, I don't,
Smile anymore,
I've got a head filled up with enemies,
Assault reports, and this,
House is filled with faceless ghost's,
They haunt me every day,
They keep me up at night times…

Open your notebook, you,
Always knew which words to write to make me…
Bend and break and fall for you,
like leaves in November, undressing and, decaying again, I am,
Talking out of courtesy, I'm not,
Into this drive,
I'll fall asleep to pass the miles,
I'll dream of passing out on, bathroom tiles,
These fucking phantoms scare me blind, I,
Can't see a thing,
Can't see a way…

The first day of the year, the first official C365 post.

So this is day one of the project, and I'm pretty stoked on it. So far January has been awesome, my friends are rad and I love when Facebook chat works. This lyric is a bit sour, but it's one that I'm doing with Tornado Day, which is my main musical concern at the minute, so thought it a good start...

Scratch Card

Are you working hard on projects, hard enough to blank your mind?
Are you collecting all those horoscopes to try to find a sign?
If you’re trying to swim in work, just to avoid the chance to think,
You better keep your head above or you,
You might drown in it…

There are questions on the lips of every, passer-by I see,
I guess this fanfare of fake friendships is a,
Race for popularity,
I’m losing out to you,
Yeah you’re the better half…
“I understand how this seems pointless man…”
I wish these voices would just stop…

So send your messages, across land and wire,
Electrical, or, if you want you could just tie, it to the foot of a bird…
And fly it to me,
And if it gets caught up in flying south then,
I guess I can wait…

Do you remember when you were walking?
On a path away from home,
Arguing with your whole family,
You walked toward the riverside,
Of my home town…

I fell like a fox…
Caught in a trap…
And I’ll never escape I am…
Stuck, stuck, stuck…

Did you ever feel the way that I still feel to this day?
Did you ever mean the words you used to break your neck to say?
I remember when you came round,
You stepped out from your sister’s car,
And you kissed me on the lips, stood in the frame of my front door.
And it’s thought like these that still haunt me,
Make me wrap up dreams in rhymes,
And these songs are ghosts, that fill my room and I’m,
Singing tonight…

“My friends were all right…”
You hear me singing it?

So take the keys from the pocket, use them to decorate your home,
I’ll take the room toward the middle,
With the drums and amps and, microphones,
And I’ll sit and wait and sit and wait, I’ll, wait for you,
If you want to talk just call me up, I’ll,
I’ll speak to you.